Jus' an Existential Crisis

What's goin' on? Oh, nothin'. Jus' havin' some identity issues. It's what happens when I don't have enough keeping me busy. It's what happens when I spend hours on the computer I should be spending doing productive things. I get confused about who I've become when I become desensitized to topics of a sexual nature and go about drawing penises, engaging in public displays of affection, and other things that I used to hate. I am everything that I used to find vulgar and demeaning to good, levelheaded folks like us. And I can't justify it to myself. But what can I do? Every time I tell Jacob, "No more drawing penises for me! I am turning over a new leaf!" He scoffs at me as he adjusts his ascot, while at the same time managing to look down his nose. And then I end up drawing a penis in an unsuspecting person's notebook.

And then there's the PDA. I have always HATED PDA. And yet now everyone knows me as that PDA girl. "Why do you bother having a coat over you?" one boy asked in the hallway earlier, "Everyone knows what you're doing."
But how can I shake the image now? Even if I did stop making people uncomfortable, people who claim to not care, but obviously do, it's not like...whatever.

Enough, I say, enough. Julia, get your mind out of the gutter. 'Tis inappropriate and unfit for you to think of, speak of, and act on such impulses. No more, sayeth I. Nope. Can't you enjoy not being filthy?

You just think you're so edgy, don't you? You like it that you're finally in a position to make other people uncomfortable. Because you understand sex, and now you're all grown up. You can do to other people what your cruel older cousins did to you.