Paper makes the best bagels of all

In response to my earlier blog, I have a friend at school that is a total Jew. He has a Jew 'fro and sometimes takes out bagels in class and refuses to share them. He claims he isn't Jewish, that he is Christian, and that I should stop trying to convert him to being Jewish even though I'm Catholic. I told him I'm just trying to get him to accept his heritage. So I made a list of Jewish names for him to choose from--Malachai, Melchisedek, Mazda, Yisrael, Matisyahu. He chose "Mazda" and I was like "Hell no. You're Malachai." and so he was so mad that he balled up the piece of paper. Then I told him to eat it and he did. It was awesome. I love it when guys do what I say.